wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
