They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
