the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
