your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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