I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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