Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
