dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
