Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
