He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
