You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
