Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
