My sheets look like a crime scene.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
