All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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