I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
