A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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