you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
