I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
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Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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