I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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