I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
