Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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