Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
ok first of all what the fuck
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
