my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
