What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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