just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
