did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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