I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
