Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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