My girlfriend figured out who you are.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
