I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
