On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
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