Tell her she can't have a vagina
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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