Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
