Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
