if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
