just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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