It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
