That's when you crack a 10am beer
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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