i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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