dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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