I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
