for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm just crazy horny about you
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
