Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I will be naked everywhere
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
This is classic penis vs brain.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
