The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
