Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
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I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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