i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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