Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
