I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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