last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
