I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
