i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
