is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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