Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
