dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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